Dear Brothers and Sisters,
Jesus tells us to stay awake, with our lamps filled. Immediately, my mind goes to reasons why I cannot or shouldn’t stay awake. When I encounter resistance in myself to the words of Jesus, it is good to ask why. Then more questions arise: Is the Lord encroaching on the freedom he willed to give me? Could my grip on my freedom be too tight? Or is what I imagine as freedom too narrow for the freedom set out for me in God?
Filled with resistance and doubt, it is easy to miss the love in Jesus’s voice as he calls me out of darkness into his marvelous light. The Lord could have chosen any authoritative figure to symbolize himself in this parable, but he chooses the Bridegroom. He wants us to remember why we stay awake. Vigil is not kept for the sake of discipline or obligation; it is not even kept to earn our place at the feast. We will be judged, yes, but judgement is not the end. We stay awake in loving expectation of the coming of the Lord. We stay awake awaiting union with God. With this in mind, of course we want to be prepared and to have our lamps full to keep us through the night.
I heard a priest recall how he struggled with structure as a young priest, because he saw it as an imposition on the work of the Spirit in him. However, the priest explained, as he grew older, he found that the rhythm created by habit and prudence is the very framework in which the Spirit desires to move. The Lord knows us; he knows, if we are going to persevere in our search for him, it’s going to have to be pretty simple. He lays it out for us: fill your lamp with a life of virtue, and you will be ready and waiting when I come. This doesn’t mean ‘don’t live;’ it means to live toward something. Live in remembrance and in expectation. Experience the abundant blessings of this life while cherishing the hope of what is to come.
Caitlyn Bell
Spiritual Formation